When memories keep us afloat

This is being such an stressful month. I have so many things to do at all hours of the day that sometimes I don't even now where to start, and everything becomes a bit overwhelming until I tell myself to calm the fuck down and get down to business. 

I already finished my CAE exams last weekend, so that's another thing ticked out of my list, but I have two more exams this week, classes on Saturday morning, anatomy practices (which are terrifying), lessons to attend, things to clean and, to top it all, my beloved resits of biochemistry next week and the week after that. Isn't life exciting. 

Sometimes I think that the only thing keeping me away from insanity after this wearing year of med school (and beginning of the second) are good memories. 

I took this photo the first night my friends and I spent at our Memorable Week of Laziness Near The Beach (that's what I'm calling it) during that amazing summer. Goodness. I had so much fun. 

We spent almost every waking hour (and when I say every waking hour, I mean almost every hour we spent there, because we didn't sleep) laughing and being silly and lazy together. Mind you, we cleaned and cooked and did all those necessary things, but watching movies, going to the beach, playing board games, jumping on our bed to naff music, eating and singing as if we were rock stars were our biggest preoccupations. 

We would sit on the terrace, with a hoodie on because it was just that deliciously chilly, to see the sunset over the roaring sea, and we would feel at peace with the world during those endless minutes. 

We would wake up after no more than two hours of sleep to have breakfast overlooking the waves and making plans for that day. We would sit out there after lunch to have our cup of tea and devourtaste those tasty blueberry muffins my friend baked for us and that are like having a piece of heaven in your mouth. We would just sit for a bit on the beach, listening to the seagulls over us and the sea in front of us, sunbathing and reading a good book, commenting the funniest or deepest parts, or just being there near each other, in a comfortable silence. 

It was all perfect. It was one of those periods of absolute relaxation that you need to reconnect with the world and with yourself. To step away from the internet and your responsibilities and your mobile phone and dead-lines and schedules during a week feels positively soul-healing. To be able to lay in a bed, surrounded of your dearest friends, covering yourself with a heavy fluffy duvet because the breeze that comes in trough the window is cool enough to freeze your toes while the sea lulls you to sleep (the little sleep we had, anyway) is the definition of happiness.

So when I feel like I'm becoming exhausted from the mad rush of daily life, I will pull out all of these memories, and I will wish and plan for the moment in which my friends and I can go in another of those balsamic trips in which is just you, people you love and nature for a bit. In which you feel like everything's going to be ok eventually. 

Why is our generation so unsettled?

Beautiful Scotland from John Duncan on Vimeo.

The other day I was talking to a lovely lovely follower on tumblr who told me she was from Scotland, and being the sweetheart that she is, she sent me this wonderful video of Scotland for my pleasure when I told her I've been dreaming of going there for as long as I can remember. After that, I showed it to a friend and traveling was the only thing we talked about for a good couple of hours. As if those were big news. 

The thing is, is not the first time we've talked about leaving everything behind and traveling the world. And I know we're not the only ones. Blogs like Brooke's or Angel's are a crystal-clear proof of that fact. 

This generation is not easily satisfied with things that are supposed to be. I talk long hours and plenty of times with my friend Ali about how we want to do so much more, but we feel overwhelmed by the weight of all the things we already have to do. We both want to have a degree and work in a certain field, but at the same time, we're afraid we're not making the right decision. We know that now, it is possible to make a living in so many ways that we didn't even considered before, that we shake with the possibility of being wrong. We're both studying to get a degree in fields that are probably going to allow us to get in a good working position, but we also know the wide range of possibilities that are out there, waiting to be tested, and we both realize that probably we're missing out on wonderful things. 

Going to classes at university, then studying for long hours at home, studying another language (which we are both doing), my creative writing course, her horseback riding lessons, her playing the piano, our working out hours at the gym... And we still feel like we are not doing everything we want to. 

That's why we want to travel so badly. We want to get out of our comfort zone, because it's "easy" to be here, studying and getting everything done for us but we also want to be independent, to make things for ourselves. We want to have hours for leisurely reading and writing, for drawing, for going out, for traveling, for trying new things, for going to museums and concerts and for learning so many many new things. We feel overwhelmed by all of this at the same time that we're feeling disappointed with ourselves for not having the ability to just go with what we want. 

I keep telling myself that one day we'll pack every valuable thing we own and that we'll take a flight to the countries we've always wanted to visit, but then I keep making excuses and I feel like a coward. 

I just hope that one day I'll have the courage to do it, to say "fuck it" and stop being afraid of the consequences and just do the things I want to do. It's true that I want to become a doctor, but it's also true that I want to become a writer as well, and that I want to travel the world and see with my own eyes all those landscapes, to taste all those delicious dishes and to talk to all those wonderful people who live overseas, to know other cultures and get myself lost in streets of which I don't even know the name. 

I'm working on my two first desires, and I'm planning on traveling the world as soon as I finish my degree. I'm planning on going to study abroad, maybe to Germany or Denmark or maybe even Sweden (I'd love that) as my first steps. 

I'm young, I'm afraid, I'm determined and sick of this feeling of not being brave enough. But I know that one day, I'll be with a travel bag in my shoulders, feeling my mind free itself of all the fears of not doing anything, because I'll be doing what my soul most longs for. 

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What about you? What's that thing you keenly want to do

 but keep finding excuses to postpone? Do you think you'll do it someday? 

Why keeping a journal is actually a great thing to do

"He said our curse as humans is that we are trapped in time-our curse is that we are forced to interpret life as sequence of events- a story -and that when we can't figure out what our particular story is we feel lost somehow" Douglas Coupland, Life After God 

 It's been a long time since I last took my journal and just sat with my thoughts and a good cup of tea. Enrolling in a creative writing course has kicked up my love for writing.

   And I do mean love.

  It's so refreshing having your pen running wild on top of the blank pages, just as wildly as your thoughts whirl in your mind. 

   I want to share with you the reasons why I find keeping a journal so wonderful, and why I urge you to buy a beautiful notebook and a fun colored pen and just let your hand turn your day into a tale. 

• You can clean your mind. Sometimes our days are just too much, be it in a good or bad way. And sometime we don't feel like talking with anyone, so the best option is to get comfortable and pour your day, your thoughts and impressions in your journal. It'll feel like taking a huge weight out of your chest. 
• You'll improve your writing skills. Trying to get your thoughts in curves and lines that fill the paper will take effort. You'll have to think in the right way to express just how incredible the lightning was in your room when you woke up, how sweet was the smell of that bakery you passed by, how playful was your dog when you both went for a walk... With time, you'll want to turn your experiences in a narration. In the end, life is nothing but a narration. 
• You will learn to observe. The pace at which we live today is the epitome of madness. We forget the world around us and concentrate just in all the things we need to get done for the next day, the next week... With my writing I've learnt to observe. For example, the other day, my friends and I went to have dinner, and after that we took a walk and saw a couple of guys that were singing in front of the Roman Theatre with just a guitar and paint containers. Paint containers. We stopped in front of them and just listened. We didn't talk with each other, just focused on the guy's voice and their talent. It felt magical. I was there, with my friends in a place surrounded by history listening to my favorite songs sang by a sweet voice. As soon as I arrived home I felt the need to write all those things down. 
• You'll have fond memories to come back to. We think we can remember every single thing we live, but that's not true. Every day we catch glimpses of things that, for some reason, make us stop and think for a bit. When you take your journal and read it after a long time is like watching a movie of your own life, of the things that live like worms in your brain. You may smile because of the silly things you used to say or do, you may cry because of that heartbreak or that difficult time or you may marvel at how much you've changed, matured and strengthened. 
• You'll get to know yourself better. Probably you think that you already know yourself as best as anyone can but we're constantly changing. Writing your thoughts down is a great way of knowing your most deep self. And this knowledge will help you make decisions and cope with the things that come into your life wat more easily. 
• It's fun. That simple. It will allow you to take a bit of time for yourself and have fun with the paper and pen. Words are a playful thing, and learning how to create your world with them is something magical.