Perfect Characters #1: Samwise Gamgee

Image taken from here

There are certain characters that, for some reason, stick with us. We always carry them in our hearts, and that's one of the wonders of reading that I like best (or of being a movie junkie like me). These type of characters make us feel understood, they always keep you company, even when you're feeling your worst. They're like a constant comfort that will never fade.

Samwise Gamgee has always been one of those characters for me. He's loyal, brave, humble and simply perfect. Overtime I watch some of the Lord of the Rings movies I feel something warm in my chest that makes me completely happy.

The hairs of my arms stood on end the first time I listened to Sam's speech in The Two Towers, and that's a sensation that will never go away. In rough moments, listening to it, or just watching the movie time and time again, makes me feel fetter, because it reminds me that there's always something to hold on to.

I don't know, Lord of the Rings makes me really emotional.

"Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.”

When memories keep us afloat

This is being such an stressful month. I have so many things to do at all hours of the day that sometimes I don't even now where to start, and everything becomes a bit overwhelming until I tell myself to calm the fuck down and get down to business. 

I already finished my CAE exams last weekend, so that's another thing ticked out of my list, but I have two more exams this week, classes on Saturday morning, anatomy practices (which are terrifying), lessons to attend, things to clean and, to top it all, my beloved resits of biochemistry next week and the week after that. Isn't life exciting. 

Sometimes I think that the only thing keeping me away from insanity after this wearing year of med school (and beginning of the second) are good memories. 

I took this photo the first night my friends and I spent at our Memorable Week of Laziness Near The Beach (that's what I'm calling it) during that amazing summer. Goodness. I had so much fun. 

We spent almost every waking hour (and when I say every waking hour, I mean almost every hour we spent there, because we didn't sleep) laughing and being silly and lazy together. Mind you, we cleaned and cooked and did all those necessary things, but watching movies, going to the beach, playing board games, jumping on our bed to naff music, eating and singing as if we were rock stars were our biggest preoccupations. 

We would sit on the terrace, with a hoodie on because it was just that deliciously chilly, to see the sunset over the roaring sea, and we would feel at peace with the world during those endless minutes. 

We would wake up after no more than two hours of sleep to have breakfast overlooking the waves and making plans for that day. We would sit out there after lunch to have our cup of tea and devourtaste those tasty blueberry muffins my friend baked for us and that are like having a piece of heaven in your mouth. We would just sit for a bit on the beach, listening to the seagulls over us and the sea in front of us, sunbathing and reading a good book, commenting the funniest or deepest parts, or just being there near each other, in a comfortable silence. 

It was all perfect. It was one of those periods of absolute relaxation that you need to reconnect with the world and with yourself. To step away from the internet and your responsibilities and your mobile phone and dead-lines and schedules during a week feels positively soul-healing. To be able to lay in a bed, surrounded of your dearest friends, covering yourself with a heavy fluffy duvet because the breeze that comes in trough the window is cool enough to freeze your toes while the sea lulls you to sleep (the little sleep we had, anyway) is the definition of happiness.

So when I feel like I'm becoming exhausted from the mad rush of daily life, I will pull out all of these memories, and I will wish and plan for the moment in which my friends and I can go in another of those balsamic trips in which is just you, people you love and nature for a bit. In which you feel like everything's going to be ok eventually. 

Why is our generation so unsettled?

Beautiful Scotland from John Duncan on Vimeo.

The other day I was talking to a lovely lovely follower on tumblr who told me she was from Scotland, and being the sweetheart that she is, she sent me this wonderful video of Scotland for my pleasure when I told her I've been dreaming of going there for as long as I can remember. After that, I showed it to a friend and traveling was the only thing we talked about for a good couple of hours. As if those were big news. 

The thing is, is not the first time we've talked about leaving everything behind and traveling the world. And I know we're not the only ones. Blogs like Brooke's or Angel's are a crystal-clear proof of that fact. 

This generation is not easily satisfied with things that are supposed to be. I talk long hours and plenty of times with my friend Ali about how we want to do so much more, but we feel overwhelmed by the weight of all the things we already have to do. We both want to have a degree and work in a certain field, but at the same time, we're afraid we're not making the right decision. We know that now, it is possible to make a living in so many ways that we didn't even considered before, that we shake with the possibility of being wrong. We're both studying to get a degree in fields that are probably going to allow us to get in a good working position, but we also know the wide range of possibilities that are out there, waiting to be tested, and we both realize that probably we're missing out on wonderful things. 

Going to classes at university, then studying for long hours at home, studying another language (which we are both doing), my creative writing course, her horseback riding lessons, her playing the piano, our working out hours at the gym... And we still feel like we are not doing everything we want to. 

That's why we want to travel so badly. We want to get out of our comfort zone, because it's "easy" to be here, studying and getting everything done for us but we also want to be independent, to make things for ourselves. We want to have hours for leisurely reading and writing, for drawing, for going out, for traveling, for trying new things, for going to museums and concerts and for learning so many many new things. We feel overwhelmed by all of this at the same time that we're feeling disappointed with ourselves for not having the ability to just go with what we want. 

I keep telling myself that one day we'll pack every valuable thing we own and that we'll take a flight to the countries we've always wanted to visit, but then I keep making excuses and I feel like a coward. 

I just hope that one day I'll have the courage to do it, to say "fuck it" and stop being afraid of the consequences and just do the things I want to do. It's true that I want to become a doctor, but it's also true that I want to become a writer as well, and that I want to travel the world and see with my own eyes all those landscapes, to taste all those delicious dishes and to talk to all those wonderful people who live overseas, to know other cultures and get myself lost in streets of which I don't even know the name. 

I'm working on my two first desires, and I'm planning on traveling the world as soon as I finish my degree. I'm planning on going to study abroad, maybe to Germany or Denmark or maybe even Sweden (I'd love that) as my first steps. 

I'm young, I'm afraid, I'm determined and sick of this feeling of not being brave enough. But I know that one day, I'll be with a travel bag in my shoulders, feeling my mind free itself of all the fears of not doing anything, because I'll be doing what my soul most longs for. 

-----------------------------

What about you? What's that thing you keenly want to do

 but keep finding excuses to postpone? Do you think you'll do it someday? 

Why keeping a journal is actually a great thing to do

"He said our curse as humans is that we are trapped in time-our curse is that we are forced to interpret life as sequence of events- a story -and that when we can't figure out what our particular story is we feel lost somehow" Douglas Coupland, Life After God 

 It's been a long time since I last took my journal and just sat with my thoughts and a good cup of tea. Enrolling in a creative writing course has kicked up my love for writing.

   And I do mean love.

  It's so refreshing having your pen running wild on top of the blank pages, just as wildly as your thoughts whirl in your mind. 

   I want to share with you the reasons why I find keeping a journal so wonderful, and why I urge you to buy a beautiful notebook and a fun colored pen and just let your hand turn your day into a tale. 

• You can clean your mind. Sometimes our days are just too much, be it in a good or bad way. And sometime we don't feel like talking with anyone, so the best option is to get comfortable and pour your day, your thoughts and impressions in your journal. It'll feel like taking a huge weight out of your chest. 
• You'll improve your writing skills. Trying to get your thoughts in curves and lines that fill the paper will take effort. You'll have to think in the right way to express just how incredible the lightning was in your room when you woke up, how sweet was the smell of that bakery you passed by, how playful was your dog when you both went for a walk... With time, you'll want to turn your experiences in a narration. In the end, life is nothing but a narration. 
• You will learn to observe. The pace at which we live today is the epitome of madness. We forget the world around us and concentrate just in all the things we need to get done for the next day, the next week... With my writing I've learnt to observe. For example, the other day, my friends and I went to have dinner, and after that we took a walk and saw a couple of guys that were singing in front of the Roman Theatre with just a guitar and paint containers. Paint containers. We stopped in front of them and just listened. We didn't talk with each other, just focused on the guy's voice and their talent. It felt magical. I was there, with my friends in a place surrounded by history listening to my favorite songs sang by a sweet voice. As soon as I arrived home I felt the need to write all those things down. 
• You'll have fond memories to come back to. We think we can remember every single thing we live, but that's not true. Every day we catch glimpses of things that, for some reason, make us stop and think for a bit. When you take your journal and read it after a long time is like watching a movie of your own life, of the things that live like worms in your brain. You may smile because of the silly things you used to say or do, you may cry because of that heartbreak or that difficult time or you may marvel at how much you've changed, matured and strengthened. 
• You'll get to know yourself better. Probably you think that you already know yourself as best as anyone can but we're constantly changing. Writing your thoughts down is a great way of knowing your most deep self. And this knowledge will help you make decisions and cope with the things that come into your life wat more easily. 
• It's fun. That simple. It will allow you to take a bit of time for yourself and have fun with the paper and pen. Words are a playful thing, and learning how to create your world with them is something magical. 

My new Academic Year Resolutions

First year of medicine has probably been one of the hardest years of my life. But I've learned so much along the way, I can't actually regret it. However, this new academic year, which I started two days ago, feels like a brand new opportunity, and therefore I'm going to do something I've never done before: A resolutions list. Here are the things I want to improve this year, the mantras I want to run in my head every single day when I wake up:

• You're not stupid. If you fail, then try again. There are always new chances to improve what you do. 
• Start moving your ass. You need to lose weight and get in shape, for your own physical and mental health. Join the gym, start running early in the mornings. Anything. 
• Work every day, be organized. Buy an agenda and actually use it. Get a binder and keep it organized, so you know what you have to study and when you learnt it. 
• Eat healthier. Your body is what allows you to enjoy your life. If your body is not healthy, neither is your mind. Healthy food can be delicious and you know it. 
• Allow yourself to dream. If you want to become a doctor and a writer, then dream of it. Dreaming is the first step to making your dream come true. Don't be afraid of your desires. 
• Enjoy your days at uni. Go to the cafeteria with your classmates whenever you can, have fun in practices and classes, learn as much as you can, be nice to those who you love and value. Be nice even to those people who you don't like. 
• Read more. If you really want to read, make the time for it. You spend a lot of time every day traveling in the metro. 
• Write more. You've joined a Creative Writing group. Go to every single class every sunday morning, and don't be afraid of reading out loud what you've written. Nobody starts being an expert, you have to learn, and that's a long process. Write just for the sake of it. You love creating worlds. Nothing's stoping you. 
• If you want to go have a drink with your friends, indulge yourself. You can't spend every waking hour studying, you'll go insane. Balance the things you love most in your life, there are 24 hours in your day, make the best of them. An afternoon with your friends won't make you fail a single subject. 
• Be confident. You have many treats you don't realize. The people around you love you because of those treats, they must be true. You're human, and you're a miracle just for that single fact.
• Tell the people you love that you love them. If you wanna kiss them, kiss them. If you wanna hug them, hug them. If you wanna tell them they're fantastic, tell them they're fantastic, because they are. 
• Read all the books you have left. They're overflowing your book-shelves, and you're dying to read them. Do it. 
• Be excited for your niece. You're going to become an aunt come February. You're going to have a new life in your hands, and it's going to be so exciting. You'll show the world to this little girl, you'll read to her, you'll dance and sing with her, you'll make her laugh and she'll make you laugh. 
• Enjoy the rain. You love the rain. Take a book and a hot cup of chocolate and think that life has given you the best gift in the world. Put on a film, on comfy pajamas, make hot chocolate and croutons and have a wonderful afternoon with mom. 
• Be grateful every single day for the things you have. You're so lucky, you have no idea. 

What I'm planning on doing as soon as I finish my exams

Image source: click here

This summer has been... strange. The most amazing things have happened, and it has also been tiring, boring and stressful. 

I've spent almost every waking hour with my bum glued to my chair and my eyes fixed on my notes, and it's been exhausting, studying the same thing again. But I have certainly learned a lot from this. The good thing is, the news my sister gave me in july were positively  the best news I've ever received. 

I'm going to be an aunt come february-ish. 

We're going to have a little toddler crawling on the floor, bubbling and crying and laughing and giving us all such big smiles on our faces. It's so exciting. 

I finish my exams at last in two weeks, and I'll have ten days completely free of responsibilities to do as I wish. This post is something of a list to remind myself that there are always things to look forward to, and that's incredible: 

☞ Watch some movies with mum. She has a serious need of finishing the Harry Potter saga once and for all. And I'm happy to oblige her. 

☞ Watch the last episode of Sherlock. I can't believe I haven't seen it yet, I'm such a bad sherlockian. I'm so excited at the prospect of watching this last episode of season 3, which I think was even better than the two preceding seasons. This show keeps getting better and better. 

☞ Watch The Talented Mr. Ripley with Cris. We both need our Matt Damon monthly fill. And if the film includes Jude Law and an interesting plot, well... You'll have us bouncing on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. 

☞ The girls need to watch Cloud Atlas. Like, I'll be tormenting them night and day until they humor me. But I know they're going to love it. 

☞  Go shopping. I lost half of my clothes during the moving of houses, and therefore I'm in some serious need of jeans. And winter clothes are my favorites. And the next academic year is starting. It's the perfect excuse. 

☞ Buy a new quilt. There's nothing that feels greater in winter than transforming yourself into a burrito in your comfy bed after a long day filled with activities. My quilt is now almost 5 years old, and I want to buy a lighter one that brightens up the room. 

☞ Speak of the devil, I need to reorganize my room. I have to go to Ikea to see if they finally bring in again the shelves I'm looking for. I want to make my studying area into a more pleasant space, because I have too many pencils and pens lying on the desk. And I need to hang my loved, loved canvases. That little english man and that Atkinson Grimshaw canvas are begging to be hung. 

☞ Gush over baby clothes and baby blankets with mum, and visit the children section of every single library in the city to get some new books for children. You know how much I love them. And the idea of reading them to my future niece/nephew (we still don't know what it will be. Oh God, I can't wait!!) and sharing with him/her the same stories that made me happy when I was a child makes my heart burst with happiness. 

☞ Go back to posting on my tumblr. I miss my followers there, it was so much fun working on that blog. After some improvements, I'll be back at accepting questions form you, guys. Thanks for your patience and your support. 

☞ Start writing again. My creative writing has been achingly non-existent this year. I start a creative writing course in september, and I'm very scared because I'm quite out of practice, but I'm also excited because I really love writing and it's something I miss a lot. This will give me the chance to get back on track. And maybe I'll find my voice once and for all. 

☞ Get excited because winter is coming... Hmmm, that reminds me that I really need to catch up with my reading of A Song of Ice and Fire. But seriously, autumn and winter are my favorite seasons of the year. I can't stand the summer heat and there are just so many things to do during the cold season I get excited all around about it. And the rain, I can't wait for the rain. 

☞ Relax and get some energy back to start a new academic year with a completely new mind-set. I know what I'm facing now. I know my strengths and weak points. I know I can achieve this with passion and dedication. And I'm ready to take everything that comes my way with a smile. No more crying, no more feeling small and useless. No more doubts. 

______________________

And you? 

What are you looking forward to in this new period of the year? 

What gets you motivated to start the new academic year 

or to start working again full of energy? 

What I've learned in my first year of med school

“So here’s my advice: study broadly and without fear. Learn a language if you can because that will make your life more interesting. Read a little bit everyday. But most impostantly, try to surround yourself with people you like and make cool stuff with them. In the end, what you do isn’t going to be nearly as interesting or important as who you do it with” John Green 

Studying a degree, or going into any higher education after high school is not exactly plain sailing. Specially at the beginning. Well, at least it is for most of us. It's a completely new way or working, of thinking even. New people, tons of material to stuff inside your head... My first year as a med student, after struggling a lot to get in this madness, hasn't exactly been what I expected, but I've learned lots of things I didn't think I'd learn. And I did it the hard way. 

• Work every day: this is very important. Like, wow, so important. I didn’t work every day in my first term and I regretted it to no end. If you work a bit and do it wisely everyday, you’ll be ok. Write down your own notes, resumes, flow charts, draw diagrams, take mock test, write explanations for something you don’t understand… The more you work your notes, the more you'll learn. 

• Stay in touch with your friends: seriously, friends are one of the most important things for a med student. For anyone, really. We spend too much time studying, and they know when to take us out to the street to see the light again. Also, studying with fellow classmates will help you a lot, because two or three or four brains think better than one alone, but don’t make your study groups too large, I would advise a study group of 5 (and that’s already a lot) people at the most, otherwise you’ll surely get distracted. Make sure those people are hard working, because as tempting as it is, you don't really want to have a sleep over, but an studying session. 

• Eat healthy, take long showers and do some exercise: I’ve literally felt my bones rotting while sitting in my desk chair studying. I never did proper exercise, I just walked my dog, and that’s not enough. Sometimes I didn’t eat and other days I ate everything I could, and that’s not healthy either. This summer I’ve started working on that, I still have a long way to go, but I’m on it. Also, long showers are relaxing. It’ll lessen the stress from your muscles and it’ll give you proper time to keep your mind blank for a bit. And if you sing as loud as you can while showering, then you’ll feel fantastic. This is first hand experience. I'm a scientist after all. I value the worth of empiricism.  

• Stay humble: It’s incredible the amount of amazing people I’ve met in med school, but it is also incredible the amount of envious, pretentious people I’ve met in med school. People who looked down on you for not getting As, people who thought that they always had the right answer and never listened to anyone, people who didn’t share their knowledge or helped a peer in need… You are studying medicine. You are going to treat people. Not just patients. PEOPLE. If you can’t collaborate and be nice to your fellow workers, how can you care for other people? This takes me to another point: 

• Stay in contact with art: Any form of Art. Dancing, painting, writing, singing, sculpting, acting… Whatever you enjoy. But stay in contact with Art. As I’ve already stated, you are going to treat more than patients, you are going to treat a body, yeah, but also a mind, and that’s where Art comes in handy. Art is the purest expression of human minds. If you can understand the mind of your patient, your treatment will be successful in an 80%. Patients like to feel that their doctor is listening to them, that they have enough strength to fight their illness and make them go through something as hard as a serious illness. No one leaves feeling well of a clinic in which they’ve been discarded in two minutes and they barely had the opportunity to tell what’s happening to them. An illness is a narration, and you must listen and interpret it. 

• Ask for help: If you think you’re struggling with something, ask for help. To your professors, your classmates, your parents, a tutor… There’s nothing shameful in asking for help when you don’t know something or you don’t know how to tackle a task. No one was born with absolute knowledge (despite what some med students may think of themselves…) and being brave enough to say:"I want to do this well, but I don’t know how to do it. Let’s find someone who knows how" tells a lot about your willingness to learn. 

• Enjoy yourself, your life as a med student, and stay passionate: don’t loose your enthusiasm. Go to parties if you like them, go to calmer nights at home with your friends and a bowl of popcorn, go for a ride with your music as loud as you can, go to that festival you’ve been wanting to attend for 5 years… That’s what is going to get you through med school, through illness, through loss, through hell and through whatever life throws at you. You are a student, one of the most beautiful things someone can be. You are a great person, a good friend, a good son, a good brother or cousin or maybe uncle, a good musician, a good writer, a good cooker, a good sewer, a good dog-walker… I don’t know man, just look at yourself, realize how hard it is to even be born, realize how many things could have gone wrong and realize how lucky you are to be doing what you really want, to have the overwhelming sensation of having so many open paths ahead of you, realize how wonderful your friends are and go have some coffee with them, realize how much luck you’ve had, how many things you’ve fought against, and how many things went horribly wrong but have already passed. Realize how many things you can do with your time, and do them. 

• Value the worth of knowledge: there's nothing I value more than knowledge. It's not only a source of personal growth, but a source of independence. With knowledge, you can't be fooled, no one can take advantage of you, and you'll have a much more open mind. I'm not just talking about academic knowledge, but the knowledge that comes with all sorts of experiences, with reading, with music, with art. Realize how important it is that you can learn, how amazing it is that we can even learn, that we have a brain that can understand itself and the world we live in, and learn. 

Although I wrote this form the perspective of a med student, I'm sure you can somehow apply this to some aspect of your life. Or maybe not. I don't know, but I think these things are important, and therefore I wanted to share them with you. 
And yes, what you see there is a real human skull. Hur hur. 

__________________________

And you? Have you learned good things in uni? 

In highschool? Anywhere else? 

Tell me your experience, I want to know!