Perfect Characters #1: Samwise Gamgee

Image taken from here

There are certain characters that, for some reason, stick with us. We always carry them in our hearts, and that's one of the wonders of reading that I like best (or of being a movie junkie like me). These type of characters make us feel understood, they always keep you company, even when you're feeling your worst. They're like a constant comfort that will never fade.

Samwise Gamgee has always been one of those characters for me. He's loyal, brave, humble and simply perfect. Overtime I watch some of the Lord of the Rings movies I feel something warm in my chest that makes me completely happy.

The hairs of my arms stood on end the first time I listened to Sam's speech in The Two Towers, and that's a sensation that will never go away. In rough moments, listening to it, or just watching the movie time and time again, makes me feel fetter, because it reminds me that there's always something to hold on to.

I don't know, Lord of the Rings makes me really emotional.

"Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.”

When memories keep us afloat

This is being such an stressful month. I have so many things to do at all hours of the day that sometimes I don't even now where to start, and everything becomes a bit overwhelming until I tell myself to calm the fuck down and get down to business. 

I already finished my CAE exams last weekend, so that's another thing ticked out of my list, but I have two more exams this week, classes on Saturday morning, anatomy practices (which are terrifying), lessons to attend, things to clean and, to top it all, my beloved resits of biochemistry next week and the week after that. Isn't life exciting. 

Sometimes I think that the only thing keeping me away from insanity after this wearing year of med school (and beginning of the second) are good memories. 

I took this photo the first night my friends and I spent at our Memorable Week of Laziness Near The Beach (that's what I'm calling it) during that amazing summer. Goodness. I had so much fun. 

We spent almost every waking hour (and when I say every waking hour, I mean almost every hour we spent there, because we didn't sleep) laughing and being silly and lazy together. Mind you, we cleaned and cooked and did all those necessary things, but watching movies, going to the beach, playing board games, jumping on our bed to naff music, eating and singing as if we were rock stars were our biggest preoccupations. 

We would sit on the terrace, with a hoodie on because it was just that deliciously chilly, to see the sunset over the roaring sea, and we would feel at peace with the world during those endless minutes. 

We would wake up after no more than two hours of sleep to have breakfast overlooking the waves and making plans for that day. We would sit out there after lunch to have our cup of tea and devourtaste those tasty blueberry muffins my friend baked for us and that are like having a piece of heaven in your mouth. We would just sit for a bit on the beach, listening to the seagulls over us and the sea in front of us, sunbathing and reading a good book, commenting the funniest or deepest parts, or just being there near each other, in a comfortable silence. 

It was all perfect. It was one of those periods of absolute relaxation that you need to reconnect with the world and with yourself. To step away from the internet and your responsibilities and your mobile phone and dead-lines and schedules during a week feels positively soul-healing. To be able to lay in a bed, surrounded of your dearest friends, covering yourself with a heavy fluffy duvet because the breeze that comes in trough the window is cool enough to freeze your toes while the sea lulls you to sleep (the little sleep we had, anyway) is the definition of happiness.

So when I feel like I'm becoming exhausted from the mad rush of daily life, I will pull out all of these memories, and I will wish and plan for the moment in which my friends and I can go in another of those balsamic trips in which is just you, people you love and nature for a bit. In which you feel like everything's going to be ok eventually. 

Why is our generation so unsettled?

Beautiful Scotland from John Duncan on Vimeo.

The other day I was talking to a lovely lovely follower on tumblr who told me she was from Scotland, and being the sweetheart that she is, she sent me this wonderful video of Scotland for my pleasure when I told her I've been dreaming of going there for as long as I can remember. After that, I showed it to a friend and traveling was the only thing we talked about for a good couple of hours. As if those were big news. 

The thing is, is not the first time we've talked about leaving everything behind and traveling the world. And I know we're not the only ones. Blogs like Brooke's or Angel's are a crystal-clear proof of that fact. 

This generation is not easily satisfied with things that are supposed to be. I talk long hours and plenty of times with my friend Ali about how we want to do so much more, but we feel overwhelmed by the weight of all the things we already have to do. We both want to have a degree and work in a certain field, but at the same time, we're afraid we're not making the right decision. We know that now, it is possible to make a living in so many ways that we didn't even considered before, that we shake with the possibility of being wrong. We're both studying to get a degree in fields that are probably going to allow us to get in a good working position, but we also know the wide range of possibilities that are out there, waiting to be tested, and we both realize that probably we're missing out on wonderful things. 

Going to classes at university, then studying for long hours at home, studying another language (which we are both doing), my creative writing course, her horseback riding lessons, her playing the piano, our working out hours at the gym... And we still feel like we are not doing everything we want to. 

That's why we want to travel so badly. We want to get out of our comfort zone, because it's "easy" to be here, studying and getting everything done for us but we also want to be independent, to make things for ourselves. We want to have hours for leisurely reading and writing, for drawing, for going out, for traveling, for trying new things, for going to museums and concerts and for learning so many many new things. We feel overwhelmed by all of this at the same time that we're feeling disappointed with ourselves for not having the ability to just go with what we want. 

I keep telling myself that one day we'll pack every valuable thing we own and that we'll take a flight to the countries we've always wanted to visit, but then I keep making excuses and I feel like a coward. 

I just hope that one day I'll have the courage to do it, to say "fuck it" and stop being afraid of the consequences and just do the things I want to do. It's true that I want to become a doctor, but it's also true that I want to become a writer as well, and that I want to travel the world and see with my own eyes all those landscapes, to taste all those delicious dishes and to talk to all those wonderful people who live overseas, to know other cultures and get myself lost in streets of which I don't even know the name. 

I'm working on my two first desires, and I'm planning on traveling the world as soon as I finish my degree. I'm planning on going to study abroad, maybe to Germany or Denmark or maybe even Sweden (I'd love that) as my first steps. 

I'm young, I'm afraid, I'm determined and sick of this feeling of not being brave enough. But I know that one day, I'll be with a travel bag in my shoulders, feeling my mind free itself of all the fears of not doing anything, because I'll be doing what my soul most longs for. 

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What about you? What's that thing you keenly want to do

 but keep finding excuses to postpone? Do you think you'll do it someday?